Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. Recently, I had a profound realization that completely changed how I view life, companionship, and friendship. It hit me like a soft whisper in a quiet moment.
There’s something irreplaceable about the bond we share with my partner. It’s a rare kind of connection that blends love and friendship so seamlessly that one cannot exist without the other. I’ve come to see that no relationship in my life compares to this one, and nothing ever will. She touches me like l am everything I asked God for. Underneath her hands I become poetry. This is the alchemy that she does.
You know when I was younger, I heard whispers of an ancient legend in which Chinese gods tied an invisible red string around the pinky fingers of two people who were destined to meet. I would sit up in bed, wondering who my string connected to; if we had already crossed paths, if they were sat up wondering too. It comforted me, knowing that I would end up exactly where I was meant to be.
I heard the old proverb a thousand times over the years: the string can tangle and stretch but it will never come undone or break; place and circumstance don't even come into play. I had been in awe of the story my whole life and yet, when I met her, I couldn't help but think: she may not be my soulmate but if the gods allowed me to, I swear, I would cut all my strings and run to her , and that is the problem. if she wanted to dance i would let her wreck the furniture. if she wanted to cook i would let her burn down the house, and if she wanted to scream i would let her deafen me. I've never loved anyone enough to let them destroy me but God, she could take me by the throat and my eyes would sparkle at the mere inches between us. ( Poetic I know, right ?)
She Once asked me when I fell in love with her and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw her, across the half full Java restaurant , so I told her this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.
I don't think about marriage a lot , I think she does, but I think the advice everyone is told, Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort.
The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.
You will not find a love that is perfect, but you will find a love that reminds you that goodness exists. This love, it will inject honey into the soul of you, it will feel like warmth has cracked within your bones. And you will see how it learns you, and fights for you, and stays to weather the storms by your side. You will be reminded that there is connection in a world that often chooses distance over depth.
You will be reminded that there is hope to be found pouring from the fingertips of another human being, tucked between the layers of the things you have yet to discover about them. No, you will not find a love that is perfect, but you will find a love that is light, that isn't heavy to carry, that does not weigh down the core of you. You will finally understand that love was always meant to be soft. That it was always meant to be tender.
No, you will not find a love that is perfect but you will find a love that reminds you just how worthy you always were. This love, will show you that you were never asking for too much, that the way you sent your heart to war for other human beings was not foolish, that the way you were incapable of loving in halves was not wrong.
This love, will show you that it was always okay to be the kind of person who loved in a way that was full, and nourished, and hopeful all over. That it was always okay to be the kind of person who could never shy away from their heart. This love, will make up for all of the times you were asked to slaughter your instincts, for all of the times you tried to break yourself down just to comfort or impress someone who was not meant for you.
This love, will show you that you were always worthy of it, that you always deserved to be seen and understood, that you always deserved to be held and cared for the way you held and cared for all that came before it. This love will teach you that you were never too much. You were always enough. You were already enough.